The Brooding Lizard

What if humans had wings of angels to soar high in the sky. How awesome it would be to be soaring up in the skies. If we had wings, would we still need airplanes or even cars? Perhaps, we would be too lazy to fly and opt for these alternate modes of transport.

I always wanted to be able to soar in the skies. You may think me childish to say this.; but I am deeply envious of animals are able to fly whilst I am weighed down by gravity with feet grounded to the earth. The ease of flight makes me think how quick and easy we’re able to get places. The convenience as well. Then again when too many humans take to the sky, sunlight will soon be obscured from our eyes. Why? Too many flying humans equals sky jam likened to traffic jam.

Sigh… It’s back to the drawing board for Lizzy to dream up of other more plausible ideas and theories. Project Flying Lizard is not yet destined to be.

5 Comments | In: Points to ponder | tags: flight, fly, flying lizard, humans, sky. | #

When I got the news yesterday that Mexico had been hit by an earthquake, it got my Lizzy mind churning. I spent the remainder of the day and also this morning thinking about these things. Drawing up mad theories and ascertaining mentally and so on.

Here are the pieces of facts that kept rolling in my Lizzy brain,

• Haiti earthquake occurred 12 January 2010; herein known as Quake 1
• Chile earthquake occurred 27 February 2010; herein known as Quake 2
• Mexico was hit 5 April 2010; herein known as Quake 3
• All 3 locations triangulate off each other (not sure if you understand me here)
• All occurred within 3 months of each other (do not count calendar months pls)
• Quake 2 occurred 56 days after Quake 1
• Quake 3 occurred 19 days from Quake 2 and 75 days after Quake 1

So here’s where my mind became a bit more conspiratorial (or screwed).

The San Andreas fault line has lain dormant for a number of years now. Some of you will say,”The San What What LINE?!”. Just click on the link and go to the wiki page and read about it if you haven’t done so already. “What’s this fault line to do with my hypotheses?” is what some of you will ask now. There may be some of you who would have already figured  out my drift.

The San Andreas fault line lies in the state of California. If it does shift, California will be totally devastated. They couldn’t cope with Katrina and this will totally challenge the already severely challenged budget of the US government treasury. Quake 4 will probably occur in California or if not some part of USA. How equipped and ready are the Americans? Quake 4 hurt a lot of Insurance Companies for sure. This is assuming if affected parties did sign up for the earthquake damage option.

When will Quake 4 occur? I can’t give you a proper date. Even Nostradamus was wrong  in some of his predictions. It may be soon, it may be later. But the other drift of this post is to highlight that the quakes are getting more and more hazardous. With higher casualties and slower recovery rates…

It may come to be… It may not but as I said, it’s a hypotheses and a theory of my Lizzy mind.

8 Comments | In: Points to ponder, World Stuff | tags: disaster, earthquake, emergency, fault lines, natural disaster, san andreas. | #

1. AA – Alcoholic Anonymous or Air Asia.
2. AFK – Away from keyboard.
3. BRB – Be right back.
4. BTW – By the way.
5. CBB – Can’t be bothered.
6. CPR – Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation.
7. DND – Do not disturb.
8. FB – Facebook.
9. FML – F**k my life.
10. FORD – Found on road dead.
11. FTW – For the win.
12. FWIW – For what its worth.
13. FYI – For your information.
14. HSBC – Ham sap (pervert) boys club
15. IDK – I don’t know.
16. IMO – In my opinion.
17. IMHO – In my honest opinion.
18. KBP – Kay boh piao (coward)
19. LMAO – Laughing my ass off.
20. LOL – Laughing out loud.
21. NVM – Nevermind.
22. OMG – Oh my good/goodness!
23. OTW – On the way.
24. ROFL – Rolling on floor laughing.
25. SWAT – Sit wait and talk.
26. TTYL – Talk to you later.
27. Y – YMCA or why?
28. WTF – What the f**k!
29. WTH – What the heck!
30. WRU – Where are you?
31. Zzz – Sleep.

I’m sure there’s more that I’ve missed out on. Abbreviations of currencies, cities and countries are exempted from this list.

6 Comments | In: Points to ponder | tags: abbreviations, shortform. | #

According to stand-up comedian Gabriel Iglesias, there are 6 levels of fatness.

1. Big
2. Healthy
3. Husky
4. Fluffy
5. DAMN!
6. OH! HELL NO!

According to clinical doctors and studies (I think), there are 5 levels of fatness

1. Plumb
2. Slightly overweight
3. Overweight
4. Obese
5. Morbidly obese

Gallivanter blogged that we should be nice to fat ppl in his ‘Please Be Nice to Fat People’ post.

I’m fat myself although I have no idea which level I fall into. LOL.. Before anyone badgers me about the health risks of being fat, let me say that I am doing something about it. LIPOSUCTION on EXTREME MAKEOVER! Hahahahaha… Just kidding. I am doing something about it for the reason that I get healthy again and don’t have a repeat of a stay at the ‘Hotel’ (meaning Hospital in Lizzy terms).

There are a few advantages of being fat that not many ppl know about. I am going to share with you actual fatness facts.This post is meant as no means to disrespect or make fun of rotund ppl. It is simply compiled from my Fat life and of other big happy friends of mine.

1. Fat people don’t get slip-discs unlike skinny people who are prone to.
2. You always get to sit in the front seat or get the back seat of a car all to yourself.
3. People back-away when you move in their direction in a bottleneck i.e. in supermarket aisles.
4. When you run, everyone, and I mean everyone, sidesteps outta your way for safety’s sake.
5. You last longer in the event of famine or being buried under rubble (i.e. earthquake).
6. Existing blubber helps you keep warm during cold days.
7. If a big person asks you to kiss his butt, there is no way you can miss unless your blind. If a skinny person asks you to do the same, you may have problems finding the person’s butt.
8. Everyone cheers when the big one dances.
9. If you get stopped by a cop for not wearing your seatbelt, you could probably get away if you say,”The belt is not long enough.” (Size does matter in this situation. Advisable for fluffy-sized and beyond)
10. A fat person’s laugh is hearty and usually contagious.
11. In buffets and all-you-can eat places, you really get your money’s worth.
12. There’s more to love and we’re full of love. *Grin*

I’m sure there’s more. Care to add?

6 Comments | In: Points to ponder | tags: advantages of being fat, fat, gabriel iglesias, health, levels of fatness, obese, overweight. | #

… You stay in a apartment, flat, condo, duplex or upper levels of any building. Be considerate of your neighbours and refrain from doing the following.

1. Use the mortar and pestle or batu lesung to make sambal or any spice/herb paste.
2. Do exercises or have games involving a skipping rope.
3. Do jumping jacks.
4. Rehearse any sort of dance that requires stomping one’s feet.
5. Wear wooden clogs.
6. Make large marble or stone sculptures.
7. Engage in noisy sex-capades.
8. Start your own workshop of any sort i.e. metal fabrication, wood-shop, etc.
9. Keep and breed farm animals…
10. Do burnouts or donuts with your bike…

Common courtesy is becoming a rarity nowadays. So unless you own the whole block and no one else stays there but you, then pls be my guest and be indulge the activities above. Blek… Hehehe…

10 Comments | In: Nonsensical nonsense, Points to ponder | tags: common courtesy, consideration, high-rises, Nonsensical nonsense. | #