March 10th, 2010
The Unknown Advantages
According to stand-up comedian Gabriel Iglesias, there are 6 levels of fatness.
- Big
- Healthy
- Husky
- Fluffy
- DAMN!
- OH! HELL NO!
According to clinical doctors and studies (I think), there are 5 levels of fatness
- Plumb
- Slightly overweight
- Overweight
- Obese
- Morbidly obese
Gallivanter blogged that we should be nice to fat ppl in his ‘Please Be Nice to Fat People’ post.
I’m fat myself although I have no idea which level I fall into. LOL.. Before anyone badgers me about the health risks of being fat, let me say that I am doing something about it. LIPOSUCTION on EXTREME MAKEOVER! Hahahahaha… Just kidding. I am doing something about it for the reason that I get healthy again and don’t have a repeat of a stay at the ‘Hotel’ (meaning Hospital in Lizzy terms).
There are a few advantages of being fat that not many ppl know about. I am going to share with you actual fatness facts.This post is meant as no means to disrespect or make fun of rotund ppl. It is simply compiled from my Fat life and of other big happy friends of mine.
- Fat people don’t get slip-discs unlike skinny people who are prone to.
- You always get to sit in the front seat or get the back seat of a car all to yourself.
- People back-away when you move in their direction in a bottleneck i.e. in supermarket aisles.
- When you run, everyone, and I mean everyone, sidesteps outta your way for safety’s sake.
- You last longer in the event of famine or being buried under rubble (i.e. earthquake).
- Existing blubber helps you keep warm during cold days.
- If a big person asks you to kiss his butt, there is no way you can miss unless your blind. If a skinny person asks you to do the same, you may have problems finding the person’s butt.
- Everyone cheers when the big one dances.
- If you get stopped by a cop for not wearing your seatbelt, you could probably get away if you say,”The belt is not long enough.” (Size does matter in this situation. Advisable for fluffy-sized and beyond)
- A fat person’s laugh is hearty and usually contagious.
- In buffets and all-you-can eat places, you really get your money’s worth.
- There’s more to love and we’re full of love. *Grin*
I’m sure there’s more. Care to add?